Tuesday, May 22, 2007

D

Yesterday, I chatted with my old writing partner *D* on Y-IM for close to 3 hours. We had a lot to catch up on since we haven't spoken for nearly 2 years. Real life problems eventually drew her away from my writing board and I guess I always kept missing her whenever she popped onto messenger.

Anyway, after *D* left the board, my desire to write began a downward spiral. Yes, there were other writers I continued to weave stories with but no one inspired me like *D* was capable of doing. Adding to the board's round robin style of writing actually became a real chore over time due to that lack of inspiration. I pressed on though since I NEEDED to write but my creative spark left with D. She was always in the back of my mind, and oh how I longed to recapture our days of fantastic storytelling. I'm proud to say that we make a kick ass writing team.

Now, once again, I'm thinking about starting a new message board with D as my partner in crime. :) Although I deleted the old board, my world maps and old character pages still exist so it won't be too hard to put things together again. I still want to take a little time off to rejuvenate my brain. After 2 years of sitting in front of the pc each night for 4-6 hours (and nearly all day on Sundays) doing nothing but rapid yaoi role-play posts, I need a break. For a while there the role-play started to feel like a job. Right after clearing up the dinner dishes, I'd leave my hubby sitting at the table and rush into my computer room because I didn't want to hold any of the other posters up by not being there to add my parts. Hubby would joke and say, "Time to go to work, huh?" I swear, that constant fast posting did me in and I still haven't recuperated. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy fast role-playing, but "occasionally" is the key word. What I really crave is the more thought provoking posts that entail a real story.

I finally got the courage to share something with *D* that I've been holding in for a lot of years and she didn't hate me because of it. I'm relieved. I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She's the only one who knows this secret of mine. Now that all the cards are laid out on the table we can make a fresh start.

*D* called me her muse and that made me cry because it feels so damned good to know I inspire her as much as she inspires me. Creatively, I felt broken and lost for quite some time but now I'm starting to feel whole again. Thank you, D. from the bottom of my heart.

1 comment:

iGoddess said...

*muchas hugglies!!!* thank YOU, too, oh muse of mine! =)

some people just make wicked-cool tag teams, i suppose, lol. sometimes people just find the perfect synergy. it's awesome...

and i could never hate you!! i've still been kinda reeling from the shock, i suppose, trying to wrap my brain around it. but i realized something earlier today. now that i know, i actually feel closer to you. i feel this whole new level of trust, actually, and now i feel i could tell you anything. how cool is that?!

so thank you, hon. i love you much! =)

*hugs*