Monday, August 6, 2007

I misplaced my gusto

I'm giving myself a little pat on the back because I finally managed to open that new 3d graphic program I downloaded (Daz Studio), fought down my intimidation, and actually worked with it, following a tutorial I found. Of course I only scratched the surface since there's an awful lot to learn with this program, but we all have to start somewhere. And supposedly, getting started is always the hardest part.

Right now I'm having a hard time getting too deeply involved in any one thing as was my habit in the past. My attention span seems to be lacking. Or maybe I simply don't have the intense desire to delve into something new and let it consume me for months again. I keep hoping my lack of enthusiasm is due to summer because I'd rather be outside sucking in fresh air and enjoying the warmth of the sun instead of puttering around in front of my computer.

The more I think about it, the more I'm starting to believe the culprit is, "lack of pressure." As much as I hate being under pressure to do anything, I seem to work better while under pressure. Strange huh? But it's true. Hell, the only reason I learned html was because of a few online pals constantly telling me my web pages would look much nicer if I stopped using the "instant page maker" that geocites offers and got down to the business of putting in my own code. Inwardly, I moaned and groaned at their coaxing while plowing through books and online tutorials until I understood the workings of html. Too bad those pals aren't around anymore because I'd like to thank them for encouraging me to learn something new.

I started drawing for the same reason. My online writing partners and I really wanted pictures of the characters we wrote in our collaborative stories so I got this idea that it would be cool if I could figure out how to draw them myself. Our story writing ended this April and now I'm having a hard time continuing my drawing practice. *sigh* Guess I need someone to give me a good swift kick in the arse to jumpstart my creativity again.


iGoddess said...


well...i could take good aim with my foot, if you really wanted me to...


Az said...

Thanks. I might take you up on your offer if I don't get my ass in gear soon. :p